Sigh Friday's training is like shit. I was so inconsistent. Halfway, I got unhappy with myself. Throw a tantrum and decided to go for a smoke. Everybody was puzzled with my actions and I guess I disappointed Philip.
Yesterday was it, reached late and I was up on the first round. It was scary. You cannot imagine 7 pairs of eyes staring and you while you are preparing to shoot. I did well at first, I thought so too. All the long shots was well done, but because I focused too much on potting I didn't actually go and notice my placing. Then when he start catching up, I really felt like going out for a smoke halfway, I feel as though I cannot even breathe properly. G came and give me support :) Sigh so the score was 4:5. I lost. Dinner celebration for Grandma at Tiong Bahru. Back to that place again, where everything seems so carefree. Everybody was sort of nagging at me. As usual, dinner was always bad. I wished I could tell my father that I actually lost in a tournament and I wasn't feeling the best of it, hoping he could tell me not to give up. But no, I couldn't open my mouth and I knew that he doesn't like me playing pool. But why can't you just be supportive of something that I have interest in? Went to Classic after that. Really couldn't play and anything that pissed me off badly made me felt even worse. Why is it really boyfriend so important? It is important to me, but whatever it is shouldn't you set your priorities first? In the end, everything is still not fair. Whatever. G made me day again. We went Bukit Timah after I went home to walk monster. So fun, I love going to the west to explore. Had Indian food there.
Yesterday I was supposed to study but ended up I think I only studied for two 6PS. I slept for so long, quite shiok. I show you Cookie monster. She damn cute ah, I was typing then she keep kissing me. I only played two rounds of pool, so proud of myself.
Everything seems to be so hard now. I feel like MIA-ing from everybody. I need time to really think what am I doing in life.